Την έσωσαν τα τσίπουρα!

Δευτέρα, 30 Δεκεμβρίου 2013 12:51
Γράφτηκε από τον/την NewsRoom

Γράφει η Ελένη Παπαδοπούλου

Τι τσάι με λεμόνι και ελιτίστικες καταστάσεις μου λέτε τώρα, δυο μπουκάλια… τσίπουρο κατέβασε η θεία Μαριγούλα, περιμένοντας τρεις μέρες συνέχεια στο αντίσκηνο που έστησε έξω από την τράπεζα για να πάρει την βλογιοκομμένη σύνταξη! Στο τέλος έγινε… ντίρλα και μπήκε στην τράπεζα και τα’ κανε λαμπόγυαλο, παραμονή Χριστουγέννων, ποιος την είδε και δεν τηνε φοβήθηκε!

Βλέπετε το ιστορικό ήταν μεγάλο, όπως μεγάλη και η απόφαση να κατεβεί από το χωριό, μεγάλη και η προετοιμασία, γιατί κάτι είχε πάρει το αυτί της για το τι πρόκειται να της συμβεί κι έτσι, αν μη τι άλλο, ήταν αποφασισμένη για όλα. Έζεψε λοιπόν τον γάϊδαρο, γιατί είχε και βαρύ φορτίο, πώς να πάει με το ΚΤΕΛ, ετοίμασε τη σκηνή, τα κατσαρολικά της για κανέναν πρόχειρο τραχανά για την αναμονή, το μονό μάτι με το γκαζάκι, το τσίπουρο βεβαίως – βεβαίως, το βελονάκι για να πλέξει την δαντέλα να περάσει η ώρα και η μέρα και μια αλλαξιά εσώρουχα γιατί όλα κι όλα, το ίδιο βρακί δεύτερη μέρα δεν φοράει.

Δώστου- δώστου κάποτε έφτασε στην πόλη, έδεσε το γάϊδαρο μπροστά από τα δικαστήρια αφού είδε πολλά αυτοκίνητα παρκαρισμένα στη σειρά, που να της περισσέψει 5ευρω για να δώσει στο πάρκινγκ, ξεφόρτωσε τα μπογαλάκια κι όταν έφτασε στην τράπεζα, έστησε αμέσως τη σκηνή, βραδάκι γαρ, να ρίξει κανέναν υπνάκο μέχρι να’ ρθει το ξημέρωμα. Κρέμασε και το… σέξι το μπραζίλιαν στο Χριστουγεννιάτικο δέντρο – συνθηματικό ήτανε μήπως και περάσει κανένα τεκνό από τα μπαρ και κάνει πρόωρο… Πασχα στο αντίσκηνο- αλλά… ούτε μαύρος γάτος! Γι αυτό και έπνιξε τον πόνο της στο πιώμα!

Κι εδώ αρχίζει το β΄ μέρος της περιπέτειας, αφού ούτε την πρώτη, ούτε τη δεύτερη μέρα μπόρεσε να πλησιάσει στο γκισέ. Διότι, τη μια δεν άκουσε τον… κόκορα για να ξυπνήσει εγκαίρως να πιάσει σειρά στην ουρά – βλέπετε για όλα μερίμνησε αλλά τον κόκορα ξέχασε να τον φέρει μαζί- και τη αφύπνιση στο κινητό δεν της την είχε μάθει ο Μήτσος, οπότε το… τρένο το’ χασε! Την άλλη στήθηκε στην ουρά από τις 6 το πρωί και μόλις έφτασε το μεσημέρι στο ταμείο της είπαν ότι… έπεσε το σύστημα και εκεί ήταν που έγινε έξαλλη και άρχισε στα μπινελίκια τον ταμία!

« Ποιος σύστημα και μ…ς μου λέτε τώρα, εγώ το μόνο εργαλείο που έχω δει να πέφτει είναι… του συχωρεμένου! Και εκείνο μετά τα εβδομήντα γιατί είμαστε και βαρβατόσογο! Για να μην πεις λοιπόν το… δεσπότη Παναγιώτη, φέρε τη σύνταξη τώρα!» Τον βουτάει τον καημένο από το γιακά κι όπως έχει γίνει ντίρλα από τα τσίπουρα της αναμονής, τον κάνει τόπι στο ξύλο! Βέβαια το βράδυ την έβγαλε η Μαριγούλα στη… στενή μαζί με κάτι αλλοδαπούς, αλλά την σύνταξη πάντως την πήρε κι ας τα φα’ γε στο δικηγόρο!!! Τον άλλο μήνα θα μάθει να δουλεύει το… web banking κι ας πάνε οι τράπεζες να πνιγούνε!

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SELECT c.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(c.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(':', c.id, c.alias) ELSE c.id END as slug FROM h5490_categories as c LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS s ON (s.lft <= c.lft AND s.rgt >= c.rgt) OR (s.lft > c.lft AND s.rgt < c.rgt) LEFT JOIN (SELECT cat.id as id FROM h5490_categories AS cat JOIN h5490_categories AS parent ON cat.lft BETWEEN parent.lft AND parent.rgt WHERE parent.extension = 'com_content' AND parent.published != 1 GROUP BY cat.id) AS badcats ON badcats.id = c.id WHERE (c.extension='com_content' OR c.extension='system') AND c.access IN (1,1) AND c.published = 1 AND s.id=368 AND badcats.id is null GROUP BY c.id, c.asset_id, c.access, c.alias, c.checked_out, c.checked_out_time, c.created_time, c.created_user_id, c.description, c.extension, c.hits, c.language, c.level, c.lft, c.metadata, c.metadesc, c.metakey, c.modified_time, c.note, c.params, c.parent_id, c.path, c.published, c.rgt, c.title, c.modified_user_id ORDER BY c.lft
SELECT c.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(c.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(':', c.id, c.alias) ELSE c.id END as slug FROM h5490_categories as c LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS s ON (s.lft <= c.lft AND s.rgt >= c.rgt) OR (s.lft > c.lft AND s.rgt < c.rgt) LEFT JOIN (SELECT cat.id as id FROM h5490_categories AS cat JOIN h5490_categories AS parent ON cat.lft BETWEEN parent.lft AND parent.rgt WHERE parent.extension = 'com_content' AND parent.published != 1 GROUP BY cat.id) AS badcats ON badcats.id = c.id WHERE (c.extension='com_content' OR c.extension='system') AND c.access IN (1,1) AND c.published = 1 AND s.id=364 AND badcats.id is null GROUP BY c.id, c.asset_id, c.access, c.alias, c.checked_out, c.checked_out_time, c.created_time, c.created_user_id, c.description, c.extension, c.hits, c.language, c.level, c.lft, c.metadata, c.metadesc, c.metakey, c.modified_time, c.note, c.params, c.parent_id, c.path, c.published, c.rgt, c.title, c.modified_user_id ORDER BY c.lft
SELECT c.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(c.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(':', c.id, c.alias) ELSE c.id END as slug FROM h5490_categories as c LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS s ON (s.lft <= c.lft AND s.rgt >= c.rgt) OR (s.lft > c.lft AND s.rgt < c.rgt) LEFT JOIN (SELECT cat.id as id FROM h5490_categories AS cat JOIN h5490_categories AS parent ON cat.lft BETWEEN parent.lft AND parent.rgt WHERE parent.extension = 'com_content' AND parent.published != 1 GROUP BY cat.id) AS badcats ON badcats.id = c.id WHERE (c.extension='com_content' OR c.extension='system') AND c.access IN (1,1) AND c.published = 1 AND s.id=265 AND badcats.id is null GROUP BY c.id, c.asset_id, c.access, c.alias, c.checked_out, c.checked_out_time, c.created_time, c.created_user_id, c.description, c.extension, c.hits, c.language, c.level, c.lft, c.metadata, c.metadesc, c.metakey, c.modified_time, c.note, c.params, c.parent_id, c.path, c.published, c.rgt, c.title, c.modified_user_id ORDER BY c.lft
SELECT c.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(c.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(':', c.id, c.alias) ELSE c.id END as slug FROM h5490_categories as c LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS s ON (s.lft <= c.lft AND s.rgt >= c.rgt) OR (s.lft > c.lft AND s.rgt < c.rgt) LEFT JOIN (SELECT cat.id as id FROM h5490_categories AS cat JOIN h5490_categories AS parent ON cat.lft BETWEEN parent.lft AND parent.rgt WHERE parent.extension = 'com_content' AND parent.published != 1 GROUP BY cat.id) AS badcats ON badcats.id = c.id WHERE (c.extension='com_content' OR c.extension='system') AND c.access IN (1,1) AND c.published = 1 AND s.id=305 AND badcats.id is null GROUP BY c.id, c.asset_id, c.access, c.alias, c.checked_out, c.checked_out_time, c.created_time, c.created_user_id, c.description, c.extension, c.hits, c.language, c.level, c.lft, c.metadata, c.metadesc, c.metakey, c.modified_time, c.note, c.params, c.parent_id, c.path, c.published, c.rgt, c.title, c.modified_user_id ORDER BY c.lft
UPDATE `h5490_session` SET `data` = '__default|a:10:{s:15:\"session.counter\";i:1;s:19:\"session.timer.start\";i:1403523117;s:18:\"session.timer.last\";i:1403523117;s:17:\"session.timer.now\";i:1403523117;s:24:\"session.client.forwarded\";s:14:\"174.129.228.67\";s:22:\"session.client.browser\";s:75:\"ia_archiver (+http://www.alexa.com/site/help/webmasters; [email protected])\";s:8:\"registry\";O:9:\"JRegistry\":1:{s:7:\"\0*\0data\";O:8:\"stdClass\":0:{}}s:4:\"user\";O:5:\"JUser\":25:{s:9:\"\0*\0isRoot\";b:0;s:2:\"id\";i:0;s:4:\"name\";N;s:8:\"username\";N;s:5:\"email\";N;s:8:\"password\";N;s:14:\"password_clear\";s:0:\"\";s:8:\"usertype\";N;s:5:\"block\";N;s:9:\"sendEmail\";i:0;s:12:\"registerDate\";N;s:13:\"lastvisitDate\";N;s:10:\"activation\";N;s:6:\"params\";N;s:6:\"groups\";a:0:{}s:5:\"guest\";i:1;s:13:\"lastResetTime\";N;s:10:\"resetCount\";N;s:10:\"\0*\0_params\";O:9:\"JRegistry\":1:{s:7:\"\0*\0data\";O:8:\"stdClass\":0:{}}s:14:\"\0*\0_authGroups\";a:1:{i:0;i:1;}s:14:\"\0*\0_authLevels\";a:2:{i:0;i:1;i:1;i:1;}s:15:\"\0*\0_authActions\";N;s:12:\"\0*\0_errorMsg\";N;s:10:\"\0*\0_errors\";a:0:{}s:3:\"aid\";i:0;}s:16:\"com_mailto.links\";a:1:{s:40:\"78e477d5ef2c9e460be3048dbecaa750382aca3c\";O:8:\"stdClass\":2:{s:4:\"link\";s:84:\"http://www.eproini.gr/index.php/proini/proini-ta-proina/31113-tin-esosan-ta-tsipoura\";s:6:\"expiry\";i:1403523117;}}s:13:\"session.token\";s:32:\"62aada08f6b544ce0c72f62b88391dc0\";}' , `time` = '1403523119' WHERE `session_id` = '1km0gap9eaitqebd23psrdara4'

Καταγράφηκαν 21 είδη ερωτημάτων και ταξινομήθηκαν κατά την εμφάνισή τους.

ΕΠΙΛΟΓΗ από Πίνακες:

11 × SELECT c.*, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(c.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(':', c.id, c.alias) ELSE c.id END as slug FROM h5490_categories as c LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS s ON (s.lft <= c.lft AND s.rgt >= c.rgt) OR (s.lft > c.lft AND s.rgt < c.rgt) LEFT JOIN (SELECT cat.id as id FROM h5490_categories AS cat JOIN h5490_categories AS parent ON cat.lft BETWEEN parent.lft AND parent.rgt
2 × SELECT h5490_autotweet_automator.* FROM h5490_autotweet_automator
2 × SELECT alias, catid FROM h5490_content
1 × SELECT b.rules FROM h5490_assets AS a LEFT JOIN h5490_assets AS b ON b.lft <= a.lft AND b.rgt >= a.rgt
1 × SELECT a.id, a.asset_id, a.title, a.alias, a.title_alias, a.introtext, a.fulltext, CASE WHEN badcats.id is null THEN a.state ELSE 0 END AS state, a.mask, a.catid, a.created, a.created_by, a.created_by_alias, CASE WHEN a.modified = 0 THEN a.created ELSE a.modified END as modified, a.modified_by, a.checked_out, a.checked_out_time, a.publish_up, a.publish_down, a.images, a.urls, a.attribs, a.version, a.parentid, a.ordering, a.metakey, a.metadesc, a.access, a.hits, a.metadata, a.featured, a.language, a.xreference,c.title AS category_title, c.alias AS category_alias, c.access AS category_access,u.name AS author,( SELECT MAX(contact.id) AS id FROM h5490_contact_details AS contact
1 × SELECT DISTINCT c.id AS CID FROM h5490_categories AS c LEFT JOIN h5490_content AS content ON c.id = content.catid
1 × SELECT DISTINCT categories.title AS cat, users.name AS author, users.email AS author_email, content.title AS title, content.introtext AS text, content.created AS date, content.publish_up AS date_publish, content.id AS IID, content.hits AS hits, content.access AS access, content.images AS images, content_rating.rating_sum AS rating_sum, content_rating.rating_count AS rating_count, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(content.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", content.id, content.alias) ELSE content.id END as ID, CASE WHEN CHAR_LENGTH(categories.alias) THEN CONCAT_WS(":", categories.id, categories.alias) ELSE categories.id END as CID FROM h5490_content AS content LEFT JOIN h5490_categories AS categories ON categories.id = content.catid LEFT JOIN h5490_users AS users ON users.id = content.created_by LEFT JOIN h5490_content_frontpage AS frontpage ON content.id = frontpage.content_id LEFT JOIN h5490_content_rating AS content_rating ON content_rating.content_id = content.id
1 × SELECT a.rules FROM h5490_assets AS a
1 × SELECT b.id FROM h5490_usergroups AS a LEFT JOIN h5490_usergroups AS b ON b.lft <= a.lft AND b.rgt >= a.rgt
1 × SELECT count(*) FROM `h5490_cwtraffic`
1 × SELECT m.id, m.menutype, m.title, m.alias, m.note, m.path AS route, m.link, m.type, m.level, m.language,m.browserNav, m.access, m.params, m.home, m.img, m.template_style_id, m.component_id, m.parent_id,e.element as component FROM h5490_menu AS m LEFT JOIN h5490_extensions AS e ON m.component_id = e.extension_id
1 × SELECT `data` FROM `h5490_session`
1 × SELECT `session_id` FROM `h5490_session`
1 × SELECT id, rules FROM `h5490_viewlevels

ΑΛΛΟΙ Πίνακες:

1 × UPDATE h5490_content SET hits = hits + 1
1 × UPDATE `h5490_session` SET `data` = '__default|a:10:{s:15:\"session.counter\";i:1;s:19:\"session.timer.start\";i:1403523117;s:18:\"session.timer.last\";i:1403523117;s:17:\"session.timer.now\";i:1403523117;s:24:\"session.client.forwarded\";s:14:\"174.129.228.67\";s:22:\"session.client.browser\";s:75:\"ia_archiver (+http://www.alexa.com/site/help/webmasters; [email protected])\";s:8:\"registry\";O:9:\"JRegistry\":1:{s:7:\"\0*\0data\";O:8:\"stdClass\":0:{}}s:4:\"user\";O:5:\"JUser\":25:{s:9:\"\0*\0isRoot\";b:0;s:2:\"id\";i:0;s:4:\"name\";N;s:8:\"username\";N;s:5:\"email\";N;s:8:\"password\";N;s:14:\"password_clear\";s:0:\"\";s:8:\"usertype\";N;s:5:\"block\";N;s:9:\"sendEmail\";i:0;s:12:\"registerDate\";N;s:13:\"lastvisitDate\";N;s:10:\"activation\";N;s:6:\"params\";N;s:6:\"groups\";a:0:{}s:5:\"guest\";i:1;s:13:\"lastResetTime\";N;s:10:\"resetCount\";N;s:10:\"\0*\0_params\";O:9:\"JRegistry\":1:{s:7:\"\0*\0data\";O:8:\"stdClass\":0:{}}s:14:\"\0*\0_authGroups\";a:1:{i:0;i:1;}s:14:\"\0*\0_authLevels\";a:2:{i:0;i:1;i:1;i:1;}s:15:\"\0*\0_authActions\";N;s:12:\"\0*\0_errorMsg\";N;s:10:\"\0*\0_errors\";a:0:{}s:3:\"aid\";i:0;}s:16:\"com_mailto.links\";a:1:{s:40:\"78e477d5ef2c9e460be3048dbecaa750382aca3c\";O:8:\"stdClass\":2:{s:4:\"link\";s:84:\"http://www.eproini.gr/index.php/proini/proini-ta-proina/31113-tin-esosan-ta-tsipoura\";s:6:\"expiry\";i:1403523117;}}s:13:\"session.token\";s:32:\"62aada08f6b544ce0c72f62b88391dc0\";}' , `time` = '1403523119'
1 × SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `h5490_autotweet_automator
1 × SHOW TABLE
1 × INSERT INTO `h5490_session` (`session_id`, `client_id`, `time`) VALUES ('1km0gap9eaitqebd23psrdara4', 0, '1403523117'
1 × INSERT INTO `h5490_cwtraffic` (tm, ip) VALUES ('1403523117','174.129.228.67'
1 × DELETE FROM `h5490_session`

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Καταγράφηκαν 33 ερωτήματα

Καταγράφηκαν 21 είδη ερωτημάτων και ταξινομήθηκαν κατά την εμφάνισή τους.

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ΑΛΛΟΙ Πίνακες: